Haiku 

BEFORE THE LIGHTNING BOLT: POETIC MONOLOGUES OF SKILLED LARPERS




Brian
Oh shit, you guys--
Thad's got a new b-ball hoop?
Screw that yo, let's LARP.

Tom
Scottish skirt in place,
Pingpong balls on lock, socks on!
They will rue this day.

Phil
Swish, swish, purple cape,
As soon as Dom yells "action"
I'll make Kimber swoon.

Steph
Swiftly do I run--
Brown pajamas--sword flourish--
Ogre! tap! retreat!

Patrick
Me Ogre, rawr! rawr!
Big, tall, invincible, nooo--
Death by plastic stick.

Tom
I focus, reach deep,
Into my pocket and soul...
Lightning bolt, deploy!

Dave
Double blades in hand,
Lamp shade on head: I'm Raiden--
FU Tom no pegs!

Kimber
Dave, you have, like, swords?
And Tom's, like, throwing balls?
Swing away, you tool!

Dave
Kim, run while you can!
Should not have brought my sister:
Swords aren't lightning bats.

Tristan
Rushed in like the sea--
Broke against enemy blades--
The fell sting of foam.

Tom
Lightning bolt! Lightning
bolt! Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt--Yessss!

Brian
Dead bodies--my comrades--
Leaping the legs of fallen friends--
Glad I wore sweatpants!

Phil
Should I fall today,
Avenge me, my dear Kimber!
My sweet Evenstar!

Kimber
Why is that dumb girl
In the purple cape staring!
Oh, like, that's a dude?

Thadius
Dying by a tree...
Remembering chores forgotten...
1.) fill bird feeder

Brian
Pinned by many foes--
Horned men fear no mortal's blade:
Only the word, "Death"!

Dom
What's up with this zoom...
Pan left... pullback reveals...
Random Ninja Girl?

Thadius
2.) sweep out driveway
3.) rake pinecones in front yard
Don't forget, Love Mom

Stacie
Yellow headband stealth--
Ugh! medieval gnats, chop chop--
Clapclapclapclapclap!


If you are new here, come on, the writer is the creator of ARTEMIS ETERNAL and loves anything to do with genre fiction.

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