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MetaShepherd
TheProfessor: Did you see the LED sheep art?
Jessica: ?
TheProfessor: Some Welsh or Scottish shepherds went to town with their crooks and lights.
TheProfessor: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2FX9rviEhw
TheProfessor: You may have already seen it. I just saw it this morning.
TheProfessor: I'd like to know if Samsung had that idea, or if some sheep dude pitched it around.
Jessica: I hadn't seen this
TheProfessor: I like that one of the dudes has a no-bullshit shepherd's crook.
TheProfessor: That's actually been used to crook the sheep.
Jessica: I feel bad for the sheep
Jessica: That's a lot of running.
TheProfessor: They're sheep. I think that's all they do.
TheProfessor: That and eat.
Jessica: Yes, but do they typically run that much?
TheProfessor: Maybe not all at once.
TheProfessor: But they do get herded all day.
Jessica: maybe we should move to new zealand and become shepherds
Jessica: so we can get crooks
TheProfessor: I have one already.
TheProfessor: OWNED
Jessica:
Jessica: why the f do you have one of those?!
TheProfessor: Why wouldn't I.
TheProfessor: I got it in middle school.
TheProfessor: It's awesome.
TheProfessor: Why DON'T you have one?
Jessica: Yes but what do you use it for?
Jessica: A walking stick?
Jessica: I don”™t have one because I am a pauper film artist. Otherwise that is the kind of thing I would have custom made.
Jessica: As you know I employ walking sticks from time to time
TheProfessor: I don't use it for anything. I have no sheep.
Jessica: and also it would make me feel like a wizard.
Jessica: Dude, the main function of crook is a walking stick. Secondary is grabbing sheep that stray
Jessica: or also just appearing shepherdly to your masses
Jessica: such as in the case of pharaohs
Jessica: or jesus christ
Jessica: maybe you should start working with kids
Jessica: so that you could employ your crook
TheProfessor: My crook is 9 feet tall.
Jessica: wtf is it so tall?
Jessica: your crook is too tall for me.
TheProfessor: I used to poke kids with a bo when I taught karate.
Jessica: I need a shorter one.
TheProfessor: Maybe it's not that tall.
TheProfessor: I just remember it being tall when I was 11.
Jessica: That's too tall.
Jessica: It would be hard to maneuver, no?
TheProfessor: Also, I have a saw.
TheProfessor: For shortenage.
Jessica: I see.
TheProfessor: Anyway, I felt the need to be able to crook at length.
TheProfessor: Distance-crooking is better.
Jessica: well yes I can see that being useful
Jessica: but if your crook is too tall for you to walk under branches and through doorways
Jessica: that could be annoying
TheProfessor: There are no doorways in pastures.
TheProfessor: And you can angle it.
TheProfessor: A crook does not have to be perpendicular to the ground.
Jessica: I don't know about that, Professor. I do not want a too-tall crook.
Jessica: I feel there are disadvantages
Jessica: in maneuvering.
Jessica: what if it messes up your equilibrium
Jessica: while you are leaping over a tall potted plant?
TheProfessor: One has a crook so that one does not have to leap or upset one's equilibrium, obviously.
TheProfessor: Maybe they all come tall. Maybe it's a cut-to-fit.
Jessica: what if there's a big ditch in a field and you have to jump it to get to your sheep
TheProfessor: Contact a Scotsman at once to inquire.
Jessica: I think the burden of proof is on you, old man.
TheProfessor: Definitely not. I already have an authentic crook.
Jessica: that's too big for you
Jessica: or that you've failed to measure accurately.
TheProfessor: How do you know it's too big. Have you shepherded before?
TheProfessor: You don't even have the tools.
Jessica: I shepherd everyday
Jessica: hello my people
Jessica: all 600 of them who have watched our video
Jessica: my tools are metaphorical
TheProfessor: Better not metacrook me then, if that's what you're implying you do.
Jessica: whatever, I don't need a crook because we the people aren't sheeple
Jessica: I just want one for hiking
Jessica: and pole vaulting.
TheProfessor: Oh yeah, because pole vaulting poles are short and stuff.
Jessica: they are the way I do it
TheProfessor: Your crook-related desires are contradictory.
I researched and The Internets say that a crook is typically five feet tall (or smaller). If there are any professional shepherds or pharaohs reading this, then please do confirm. And also let me know if there is some sort of mocking industry jargon term thing for shepherds or pharaohs or professors who have too-tall crooks.
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