XII. Dilly< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >

If No One Were Looking 

Do you ever wonder
Why it’s not appropriate to climb things?
Trees, drainpipes, lattices and such…
I think it is all perfectly acceptable.

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Knee High 

BAM! I serve up entries so fast you can’t keep up, son.

Anyway, one of my friends called me yesterday. I didn’t answer my phone, (I was screening my calls,) so she left me the following voicemail:

“Jessica, I’m calling you to tell you that I saw someone wearing legwarmers today and it looked really good. I guess you were right: They are back in and they can look awesome. Call me back and tell me where you bought yours. Bye!”

Ha! Take that, everyone who made fun of me back in VA for wearing legwarmers! I am certifiably awesome. I’ve been wearing legwarmers since last spring and now they are going mainstream. People in CA stop me to tell me how wicked rad they look. Furthermore, anyone who missed the ‘80s definitely has the right to wear legwarmers as much as they like without censure. I mean, they’re like socks, but totally better because they go over your shoe. And that, my friend, is hella cool.

Related Photo: Legwarmers J.Sto

PS: I am totally not telling anyone where I get my legwarmers.

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Jessica: I like the song California by Phantom Planet. (From The O.C.)
C3PSto: Yeah I know you do.
C3PSto: The OC is so popingay.
Jessica: Yeah it is, but don't hold that against California. Plus, the song is about driving to Cali and everyone knows that driving songs are 18.34932849023809% more awesome than most other songs.
Jessica: The 101 is mentioned…
Jessica: And PCH... That is totally helpful if you get lost. (Unlike the song Maps which, surprisingly, cannot help you get anywhere.)
Jessica: Dude, there are a lot of songs about California.
Jessica: Another good one is Road Trippin’ by the Chili Peppers. I never realized what “blue, you sit so pretty west of the one” meant until I moved here. Free Fallin' is another good Cali song.
Jessica: And I think California Love by 2Pac et cetera mentions every 'hood in the Los Angeles area… Not to mention my fools in NWA holding it down for Compton and Snoop reppin’ LBC.
C3PSto: yeah yeah
C3PSto: CA sucks. I don’t know why people write songs about it.
C3PSto: They should write about VA, and the Beltway, and 95.
Jessica: But, there's nothing freeing about the beltway and 95. I mean it's just one big annoying circle.
Jessica: There are other things in VA that are worthy of being written about, though.
Jessica: People come out CA for so many different reasons. It’s a big adventure, (especially if you drive across the country to get here,) so the experience is written about frequently. Plus, many songwriters work in LA at some point. Write what you know, you know?
C3PSto: Well diplomats come here for so many different reasons.
C3PSto: Who's more important, diplomats from other countries or some random pot heads that drive around writing songs?
Jessica: Don’t diplomats go to DC not VA?
C3PSto: Same difference.
Jessica: The DC… (Turn the song on...)

Driving in the rain
Just got off the plane
Going to make some global change
Washington DC, here we come
Our security guard’s got a gun

Pull up at the hotel
Phone Senator Cochell
Sell secrets that we shouldn’t tell
Washington DC, here we come
Where Diplomats are number one

Washington DC... Here we come!

Turn on the radio
Speeding as we go
Straight to Capital Hill for lunch
Washington DC, here we come
Diplomatic license plates are fun

Americans have no clue
What we're here to do
Buy your politicians now
Washington DC here we come,
Where dirty business is done

Washington DC... Here we come!
C3PSto: lol
C3PSto: hahaha
C3PSto: Dude how did you write that in 30 seconds?
Jessica: Next up: The NoVA.
On I-95
Cars go slip and slide
Sleet and snow mixed outside
Virginia, here we come
Right back where we started from…

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Inbox: Chewy 

Hey, can you figure out how I can record you doing your Chewbaca (sp?) impression on my cell phone so I can assign it as my ring tone? Thanks.


Listen: My Chewy Impression

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People here will tell you things:

“You have to pay your dues.”

“It’s all about who you know.”

“It’s seniority so you have to wait, but then when you’re on top, it’s worth it.”

I’ve paid dues. I’ve known people. I’ve been at the top and bottom of seniority systems.

“Sometimes you have to do things you don’t like in order to do what you want.”


I’m saying, why would you do anything but what you actually want to do?

Why is that a rule?

That seems stupid to me and is hereby undone.
There is nothing under the sun that cannot be done today.
Yes, it is hereby undone, I say!
Because you can do what you do today.

There is no great(er) prize waiting after the next sunset. The reward is the day: Not what comes after it.

I truly should stop listening to other people
And listen to myself.

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Struggling Through Space 

… Stretch! Feels good, right?

True Stories:

Flying to VA on Saturday for nine day stint of eating, movies and watching movies while eating. (Stover Mancha. Woot.)

This past Sunday saw the police nab two criminals at Starbucks. Entire “Keep your hands where we can see them!” action complete with helicopters circling above. Why do strange things always happen to me at the Gower Gulch Starbucks? Maybe is portal to other dimension. Must investigate further.

Actually watched news in attempts to get story of Gower Gulch caper. Was not covered on news. Apprently, in Los Angeles, someone must get shot in order for news station to be interested.

Have completely lost summer tan. Dagnabbit.

Am not sure how one actually spells “Dangnabiit.” Is probably meant to be said and not spelled.

Did not win lottery today. Suspect that if lottery tickets were sold at the Gower Gulch Starbucks, then would definitely win.

Am close(r) to finishing screenplay. Need more time in day for scene analysis and rehearsals because am devoting every second to writing.

Really miss playing team sports/open water swimming. Can’t wait to go snowboarding, horseback riding, hiking, camping and anything else away from the city that may result in death.

Am talking on cell phone too much. Will probably have cancer in right side of brain. Perhaps will make me brilliant writer or incredibly powerful smart guy such as in case of John Travolta in Phenomenon.

Why do the majority of the people who read this site never post? I know you’re there. I can see you. (Have magical brain tumor, remember?)

So, what is the weirdest medieval torture you’ve ever heard of?

Seriously. I don’t have time to research it.

In fact, can someone please spell check this for me? Thank you. Oh yes and bring me some hot chocloate and do my laundry. Gooddaytoyou.

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Rose Colored 

Sometimes I think about that guy
In Back to the Future
Who wears the 3D glasses...
Yeah. That guy is cool.

Where can I get me some of them 3D shades?

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