A Ruse of Fiction 

I still have a cold and am staying indoors, so today I read The Da Vinci Code

Warning: This entry contains spoilers. All of the below is examined in the spirit of academic, comparative mythology and is in no way a comment on anyone else”s religious beliefs (including my own).

I was not impressed. For anyone who knows anything about the Illuminati Conspiracy Theories, which involve the Merovingians, the Stone Masons, King Dagobert and so on, this book is a remedial read. Large chunks of exposition regarding these conspiracy theories are embedded in the text. All of this exposition is merely a simplified version of mythological research that I have already completed during my own writing adventures. Thus, I personally was bored.

Author Dan Brown”s ability to hide so much exposition in a thriller is the only thing I could possibly admire. (And I don”t.) His writing is obvious and the voice/tone/style is weak. Just enough to register. Not enough to actually be interesting and therefore not as palatable to the masses.

I also found the main characters to be vanilla. The most interesting characters are all dead by the time the story gets going and the ending is a predictable family-connection-guy-gets-the-girl sob. I identified most with a bore of a supporting, evil character who was murdered with peanuts due to a severe allergy. I think that part took all of two lines.

I am far from expert at codes and riddles, (I”m still on level three of Zest and sometimes can”t solve the riddles in The Hobbit), but I found the majority of the riddles and codes in the book easy to solve. I was ahead of the story. Boring. Admittedly, this could be due to the amount of mythological research I have completed and that I know the tricks to setting-up important bits that come into play during a story. But, if that”s the case, then the character who wrote the riddles should have made them harder. If a young girl in California can solve the location of the Holy Grail from the Grandmaster of the Priory of Sion”s clues then I”m thinking the story doesn”t make sense in the first place.

Basically, The Da Vinci Code is Illuminati 101 with a clock attached.

Meaning that Dan Brown has managed to make the Merovingian myth mainstream reading by tucking it away in a mediocre thriller and calling it fact in a work of “fiction.” You will feel the manipulation.

I know nothing of Dan Brown (save on the book jacket it says he lives in New England) nor do I care to research him further. I don”t know what his beliefs are. I don”t know why he wrote this book. As someone who has always been academically interested in Arthurian Grail mythology and has recently become interested in Merovingian lore, it appears to me that The Da Vinci Code is a way to spread these ideas to the masses in a non-threatening way. (The Merovingian bloodline is said to be the line of descendants from Jesus and Mary Magdelene, which means they had a child. Controversy ensues.)

Unlike master writers or Da Vinci himself, Dan Brown is not delicate. His hand is all too heavy.

Seeing as how the best parts of this book regard the exposition on the Priory of Sion, the Merovingian myths and the history of the Grail in relation to paganism, the history of goddess worship and the female form and artwork, I fail to see how moviemakers will possibly be able to include all of these interesting bits in the movie. The action, the vanilla thriller plot (predictable and boring) will be the core of the movie because that”s what modern movies are made of: PLOT. The main characters might be improved upon in film, but if much of the lore is lost (which is what makes the story unique in the first place) then I fear we may have one of the better Ashley Judd thrillers on our hands. (Note: All Ashley Judd thrillers suck, but some are watchable on TV if you have the flu or are on house arrest.)

Cut those chunks of exposition from Da Vinci, string them together and you have a non-fiction book examining the Merovingians as fact, not fiction. But, of course, no one would read that. (Well, except me.)

I have a feeling I might be one of few to have given Da Vinci Code a bad write-up. (Minus a select group of Christians who were, naturally, wicked pissed and the Vatican, who is against the book, which is the best way to make sure that everyone reads it.) If you don”t know what a Merovingian is or that the Grail may not indeed be a chalice, and if you enjoy thrillers and fiction as opposed to works examining conspiracy presented as non-fiction or comparative mythology textbooks, then you may find The Da Vinci Code somewhat interesting. Keep in mind, however, that with an hour or so of web research you can easily get a full dose of Illuminati Conspiracy Theories. Much more than is included in the book. Much stranger than is written in the book.

I would post a link here, but it would probably freak you out. (I know it freaked me out. Of course, that didn”t stop me from reading through the entire site”)

Psych, here's the link: http://www.heart7.net/knights-templar-conspiracy.htm
Update: Damn, that link died and it was a good one. To start your own conspiracy search, Google something like this: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&client=safari&rls=en-us&q=prince+william+antichrist&btnG=Search

The most interesting take away from The Da Vinci Code is this: Why are references to the Merovingians, Illuminati and so on appearing in other pop works such as Alias and The Matrix? Perhaps this has been examined for some time and I am just now at a point where I am aware of it. (i.e.: I”m not 10 anymore, which is brag-able.) Or, perhaps, it has become relevant for some other reason?

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