Jive Turkey 

M.Sto: Someone has to say grace.
Jessica: Not it! C.Sto!
C.Sto: No.
(all bow their heads)
M.Sto: C.Sto, are you going to do it? (no response) Hello?
C.Sto: No. You do it.
Jessica: C.Sto, do it. I like when you do it.
C.Sto: I don”t know how to do it.
Jessica: Just say our little kid prayer”
M.Sto: I”ll do it. (M.Sto says a prayer. NOTE: I can”t remember the words because I was focused on not laughing.)
Jessica: C.Sto”s prayer is totally better because it rhymes.
C.Sto: We should do that thing where we all say what we are thankful for.
Jessica: That is saccharine and derivative of bad TV shows. We are not doing that.
C.Sto: I”m thankful for”
M.Sto: Are we really doing that?
Jessica: No. We are not on some NBC family drama”
C.Sto: Mom”s thankful that I”m her daughter. (beat) I”m thankful that I”m getting a puppy for Christmas.
M.Sto: Dad”s ignoring that one.
Jessica: Why do you call him Dad? I mean he”s not your Dad. He”s our Dad.
C.Sto: I”m thankful that Pollyanna puked on our car.
Jessica: Yeah that was awesome. We can make fun of her forever for that one. (beat) I”m thankful that I get to live in Hollywood were every time I start to work with someone at an agency or studio they quit their job and most of the parts I”ve wanted I didn”t get and many of the ones I don”t want I do get and”
C.Sto: Wow, sounds like you”re really thankful.
Jessica: OK, I”m thankful that earlier I kicked your ass 5-0 at Gin. And that I dominate all parlor games.
C.Sto: Dammit.
The Gunn: I”m thankful that the new Harry Potter book might be out this summer.
Jessica: Do you think?
The Gunn: Yes, it”s been about two years.
Jessica: Oh, goody!
M.Sto: By the way, The Gunn, we don”t usually behave this way”
Jessica: Mom always does that”she starts making up rules when people come over, like, ”We never do this” or “Girls, you know you aren”t allowed to do that”” Yeah right! We do whatever we want!”
C.Sto: Yeah it”s like Neverland.
Jessica: Totally like Neverland. (beat) Stoverland.
C.Sto: I”m thankful that Jessica is an idiot.
Jessica: I”m thankful that C.Sto has a fat head. Oh! You know what we should do? Go TP Heather and David”s house!
C.Sto: Yeah! Wait, I”ll be too tired.
Jessica: Oh yeah. Turkey.
M.Sto: You”re not going to TP their house”
Jessica: Why? Is a great muggle like yourself going to stop us? I don”t think so, or we”ll” TP your house!
M.Sto: And I”ll make you clean it up.
Jessica: I”m thankful that I can TP my own house and then fly back to LA.
(silence, M.Sto's got nothing)
Jessica: Ha! I win.
The Grizz: What”s a pirate”s favorite vegetable?
Jessica: ARsparagus!
The Grizz: No, ARRRRtichoke.

Hope you enjoyed your holiday as much as the JSDC family did and that your house didn”t get TP-ed. (If it did, I totally didn”t do it. Unless I know you, in which case, yeah, it was probably me. And you probably deserved it.)

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