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Jive Turkey
M.Sto: Someone has to say grace.
Jessica: Not it! C.Sto!
C.Sto: No.
(all bow their heads)
M.Sto: C.Sto, are you going to do it? (no response) Hello?
C.Sto: No. You do it.
Jessica: C.Sto, do it. I like when you do it.
C.Sto: I don”™t know how to do it.
Jessica: Just say our little kid prayer””
M.Sto: I”™ll do it. (M.Sto says a prayer. NOTE: I can”™t remember the words because I was focused on not laughing.)
Jessica: C.Sto”™s prayer is totally better because it rhymes.
C.Sto: We should do that thing where we all say what we are thankful for.
Jessica: That is saccharine and derivative of bad TV shows. We are not doing that.
C.Sto: I”™m thankful for”¦
M.Sto: Are we really doing that?
Jessica: No. We are not on some NBC family drama””
C.Sto: Mom”™s thankful that I”™m her daughter. (beat) I”™m thankful that I”™m getting a puppy for Christmas.
M.Sto: Dad”™s ignoring that one.
Jessica: Why do you call him Dad? I mean he”™s not your Dad. He”™s our Dad.
C.Sto: I”™m thankful that Pollyanna puked on our car.
Jessica: Yeah that was awesome. We can make fun of her forever for that one. (beat) I”™m thankful that I get to live in Hollywood were every time I start to work with someone at an agency or studio they quit their job and most of the parts I”™ve wanted I didn”™t get and many of the ones I don”™t want I do get and””
C.Sto: Wow, sounds like you”™re really thankful.
Jessica: OK, I”™m thankful that earlier I kicked your ass 5-0 at Gin. And that I dominate all parlor games.
C.Sto: Dammit.
The Gunn: I”™m thankful that the new Harry Potter book might be out this summer.
Jessica: Do you think?
The Gunn: Yes, it”™s been about two years.
Jessica: Oh, goody!
M.Sto: By the way, The Gunn, we don”™t usually behave this way””
Jessica: Mom always does that””she starts making up rules when people come over, like, ”¯We never do this”¯ or “Girls, you know you aren”™t allowed to do that”¦”¯ Yeah right! We do whatever we want!”¯
C.Sto: Yeah it”™s like Neverland.
Jessica: Totally like Neverland. (beat) Stoverland.
C.Sto: I”™m thankful that Jessica is an idiot.
Jessica: I”™m thankful that C.Sto has a fat head. Oh! You know what we should do? Go TP Heather and David”™s house!
C.Sto: Yeah! Wait, I”™ll be too tired.
Jessica: Oh yeah. Turkey.
M.Sto: You”™re not going to TP their house””
Jessica: Why? Is a great muggle like yourself going to stop us? I don”™t think so, or we”™ll”¦ TP your house!
M.Sto: And I”™ll make you clean it up.
Jessica: I”™m thankful that I can TP my own house and then fly back to LA.
(silence, M.Sto's got nothing)
Jessica: Ha! I win.
The Grizz: What”™s a pirate”™s favorite vegetable?
Jessica: ARsparagus!
The Grizz: No, ARRRRtichoke.
Hope you enjoyed your holiday as much as the JSDC family did and that your house didn”™t get TP-ed. (If it did, I totally didn”™t do it. Unless I know you, in which case, yeah, it was probably me. And you probably deserved it.)
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