The Red Octagon 

Today I went to the DMV to renew my license. Even though my license does not expire until July, I wanted to get it over with while I had the time.

I arrived at the DMV at about 2:30 PM. I filled out the renew license form and grabbed my ticket (#C321). I watched the ticker above the windows: “Now serving #C312 at window 8.” Dammit! I sat and waited for about 40 minutes.

#C318”¦ #D101”¦ D? Who cares about D? No one! #C319”¦ Not here, ha!”¦ #C320”¦ Almost there, almost there, hurry up you idiots”¦ #C321-- Success!

I gave the lady at number eight my paperwork and two forms of identification. (Passport and social security card.)

“I”™m here for a renewal.”

“That will be twenty dollars.” She said mechanically. I handed her a sweet Jackson. “Oh, wait”¦ You”™ve had more than two tickets in the last couple of years so you have to re-take the driver”™s test.”

“Are you kidding me?” I asked.


“Didn”™t I just take that thing when I got my damn license? What happens if I fail?”

“Then you have to take it again.”

Damn you lady, damn you!

She led me over to test station one; a standing height touch-screen computer. I started the test.

Test Question:

Which of the following is your name?

A. Maria Nunez
B. Barbara Green
C. Jessica Mae Stover
D. Lana Bricken

I went with C. Stupid test. The screen informed me: " CORRECT! Now you are ready to take the test.” Oh, goody.

The first ten questions are road signs. The computer shows you a photo of a road sign and you select the corresponding multiple-choice answer. You cannot miss any of these questions or you fail and are shamed for life.

B. Slippery When Wet”¦ C. No Left Turn”¦ This is easy. A. Pedestrian Crossing”¦ Almost done”¦ My vast knowledge of road signs is rather impressive”” Wait a minute. WTF is that?

I had reached question 10: A red octagon with no words on it.

That can”™t be a stop sign”¦ it doesn”™t say "STOP"”¦ What the hell, is there some red octagon sign I”™ve never seen before? Some sign that means something similar to a stop sign?

Answers C and D didn”™t make sense, so I disregarded them.

A. Come to a complete stop.
B. Stop only if there is oncoming traffic.

Well it”™s not a stop sign”¦ so it can”™t be A”¦

I touched B.

Idiot! They probably removed “STOP” so that it didn”™t give away the answer! Shit””

Just then the screen flashed: “INCORRECT! You have been disqualified from this test.”

It was a stop sign. And I am an idiot.

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