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Narnia in My Front Yard 

It was long ago that my Father installed a lamppost far away from our house in an unusual location. Pulling back my blinds tonight, I see that a drifty field of snow has built around its black base. Trees glazed in ice line the backdrop like sacred guardians watching over the private silence settling on this place. Heavy flakes dance soft and intermittent through still and windless night air, changing our welcoming light-guide to unnatural visitor. Each cold crystal becomes the dust of magic as it falls upon a yard of canvass framed by endless woods. Still, our lamppost stands steadfast: The last trace of a civilization overtaken by a frozen desert.

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Space Museum, David & Random Pix 

Today I went to the new National Air and Space Museum in Dulles, Virginia for "Appreciation Day."

You've met my friend Heather from the camping epic. Oh wait, no you haven't because I'm still working on those entries. Anyway, her boyfriend, David, got us these highly sought after tickets because his nifty parents donated money to the museum. (So many space nerds are jealous of me right now.)

I would tell you about our visit, but it was stupid. I think the whole museum is not open yet. Plus, I realized that I don't like looking at planes. (The only time I went to the D.C. Air and Space Museum was when they had the SW exhibit.) We considered seeing an IMAX movie but then David realized that it cost money so that was a no go. All I have to remind me of this 45 minute trip is this contortionist picture of David, this picture of me giving a speech about astronauts, and the good times that we shared while making fun of what people were wearing. (Notice the crazy lady in the background of David's photo. M.Sto says they don't make three-dollar disposable cameras like they used to.)

Later I went with Heather and David back to David's house to visit with his parents and watch a video of him in a bodybuilding contest. I will try to secure a photo of Body Builder David so that you may compare with Space Museum David. (You know you want to see David in a Speedo.) Perhaps I will be able to find a photo of Ballerina David as well.

Before I go any further it is important to note that David and I grew up on the same street and he totally sucks at flashlight tag.

Here is photo of Holly licking my Narnia lamppost, just as the snow began to fall. E-mail me if you would like Holly's phone number.

Here is a photo of what it would look like if you were sitting next to me while we commandeered Mom Sto's car for a VIP trip to Starbucks. (I couldn't pirate the Toyota all by me onesies, savvy?) We would, undoubtedly, listen to Britney Spears.

PS: C.Sto, I was totally wearing your shoes in that photo at the museum. (That makes you a sucka fo' life.)

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Inbox: The Day of Jessica 

What's a day like in the day of Jessica? Marke Fl.

Dear Marke with an "e" (Are you British?),
This answer depends on where I am, which projects I'm working on and what you mean by "the day of Jessica." Actually, that makes me sound important so I'm going to lay off your grammar. I'll assume you think that I should have a holiday named after myself. With a parade. Where I'm the Queen and people give me stuff.

Since you asked today, you get today's schedule. I must warn you that Virginia is a very exciting place...

Today I: Looked at photos of Orlando Bloom online. Watched Teen Girls Squad over and over and then caught up on a little StrongBadicus. Ate a pack of chocolate-covered gram-cracker cookies that apparently make you feel like you're going to hurl after two. Brought back the word "hurl." Scanned in a load of ridiculous photos that will bring me great amusement once I post them on this site. Rewrote an old movie script of mine called Casablanca (just for kicks). Watched trailers galore. Bought my ROTK movie tickets since I was not in LA for my screening. Made fun of C.Sto to my Mom. Stared at the pieces of our fake Christmas tree, but did not put it together. Read part of The Chronicles of Narnia, The Two Towers and A Practical Handbook for the Actor. Thought about how lucky it would be if I were Conan's sidekick (for him, not me). Wrote this journal entry. Cured chocolate-covered gram-cracker cookie disease. Read the Guildhall website. Again. Obsessed over my busted palm pilot. (I think it was made before I was born.)

All of this occurred because I was supposed to be flying back to LA today for a shoot, which is now pushed until next month. New York might be my next trip if a shoot planned for next Thursday comes through. Fingers are crossed and I am going to do something productive (i.e. Starbucks).

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Scope it, Yo 

O, mighty Horoscope! What wonders does my day hold?

Holding on to outdated resentments can only harm you. Perhaps it's time to move on.

WTF? If I wanted that kind of answer I would have consulted a magic eight ball.

I would resent you, Horoscope, but you told me not to, so I can't. Damn you and your ultimate paradox. Damn you!

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And... Action! 

As usual, everything I write is highly important because it has to do with me so don't even try to skim this entry. To keep you interested I will include phrases such as "Ninjas took over Dairy Queen!" This type of literary ACTION is equivalent to MTV-style cutting, which big people say our generation cannot live without. It will definitely keep you interested. The month of December is on fire! See? Told you.

Starting today I am officially on vacation. If you want to trade correspondence with me then now is a very good time to do so. Gnomes stole my Nikes! You can ask me anything. I will be updating the FAQs and my response to you could even be published on this very site, thus making you totally famous. (But not as famous as me.)

C.Sto is suing Michael Jackson!

Stay tuned because I will also be adding photos and updating the site as much as possible. In conclusion: Conan O'Brien just made me his sidekick!

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I Don't Love NY 

Greetings from the W in Times Square, NYC. This hotel is very metrosexual.

I respect those who live in NYC and manage to love it more than any other place in the world because I can't cut it here: Too much cement, not enough sky. I don't like city life, and NYC is the citiest city of them all. Luckily it's a short trip. Tomorrow I will be home, safe and able to resume my holiday.

My shoot today went well. I won't speak to what exactly I was doing in order not to ruin the surprise.

Stay tuned and I will post some photos of C.Sto and I from a recent NYC trip. These are way funny and may include at least one member of NKOTB. I know that I keep promising photos. I swear they are coming, and that I'm not a vampire who can't be captured on film, in mirrors or by Buffy.

PS: Can you believe I'm in NYC and haven't seen Conan? True story.

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The Worst Mistake (My Day of Ruin) 

Have you ever made a mistake that seemed so obviously easy to avoid, yet you were unaware? Sometimes, someone will say something that sheds light on an issue and suddenly everything is clear. Something you missed is then seen in such a way that you can't believe how stupid you were to miss it in the first place.

I made a poor business mistake and it was brought to light today. I admit, money, math, numbers, finance: All are a weakness of mine. I have no love for them and avoid them at all cost. Avoidance and stubbornness lead to blindness. My lack of vigilance has now put me in a difficult situation. And worse, it looks like I missed said mistake on purpose. The thought of someone thinking unjustly poor of myself torments me.

I am not yet sure how I will beat this roadblock. I don't know how it will affect my goals and dreams, or even my current performance situation and geographical location. The way out is hidden from me and I know there is not a shortcut. The quickest way is through the shadow, by making up for the mistake and righting any misunderstandings. My apologies for not being more specific, but I am not able to say more at this point. There are few times that I have felt this poor of spirit.

This will henceforth be known as "My Day of Ruin."

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