My Weekend Runeth Over 

My best friend from home, Matt, came into town this weekend. Although we are from the country, we went to two fancy dinners at the Four Seasons and played it all James Bond, and such:

Jessica: I like the 4S and I like your shirt because it's plain except it says "College" across the chest.
Matt: It's my Animal House shirt.
Jessica: Nice. You realize that tonight when you go out every girl is going to call you "College" if you wear that. Or maybe I'll call you Collage. What do you say to that?
Matt: That's fine. I am a mix of all things that are good.
Jessica: What if you were a collage of poodle photos?
Matt: That's just weird.
(beat)
Matt: Call me Collagi.
Jessica: What country are you from?
Matt: Pakistan.
Jessica: Sweet.

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