You Have a Destiny |
I don’t even know where to begin.
As far as I can tell, it all started on prom day when I won a basket of beauty products. The beauty supply store called my celly to tell me the news and I was all, “YES!” and immediately went to claim my basket and hell yeah did I ever use those products in preparation for The Big Night and possibilities of Prom Queen.
Flash forward to two months ago.
I win the most well-suited, Battlenerdrific sweepstakes ever. The prize is coming up, oh yes; it’s coming.
So tonight I swing by the Portal to Another Dimension/Starbucks. “Hey Jess,” says the barista, who is definitely my friend. He does Capoeira.
“What’s up, man?” I greet. “YES! There are vanilla cupcakes!” The pastry situation is working in my favor. As far as I'm concerned, I'm already a winner.
“And hot chocolate, organic right?”
I nod in the affirmative and he rings me up.
“WAIT A MINUTE—Freeze!” I say,
And he does,
Because I’ve noticed something on the wall (see he’s frozen there):
“YESSSS! That’s my name!”
My name is on the wall.
I won customer of the week whatelsecanIsayIamjustthatawesome!
As usual, it was really hard to win. First, I had to write my name on a piece of paper. Then, I had to put the piece of paper in a basket.
Now? Free Starbucks all week, fools.
And yes Starbucks is related to Starbuck which is related to Battlestar Galactica which is related to a mandala that looks kind of like a portal to another dimension so, yes, this has all happened before and will happen again and can I help it if I’m currently in the middle of cosmic forces? No.
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