Sweet Skills 

Last night at training I was introduced to Parkour: “An art to help you pass any obstacle.”

I should have video-ed it, but I was too busy working nerve so as to not be fraidy over something I came to discover I could actually jump over, or jump off or grab onto, et cetera. Sometimes it takes me a few moments because I’m new and I basically do this stuff with all guys, and some of them have been doing it all their lives and therefore already know how far and high they can jump without eating it while also doing crazy junk in the air. I have to find the simplified version. But, by that point, I’ve already seen the crazy, so I’m muttering to myself, “shit.”

After trying to run sideways along the wall and kind of sucking at it, coach changed things up. If the following bit sounds easy, then it sounds easier than it is, but it is certainly not that hard in the gym setting if you have a few basics down:

So you run really fast, like you’re being chased by the coppers or Darth Maul or your mom who wants you to do your chores, but—oh no!— there's an obstacle in your way—you have no choice, no time!: You leap up onto the four-foot high block-obstacle-thing and then immediately leap at the wall where there is an eight-foot high bar, taking care to grab the bar and use your feet as well to cling to the wall because, then, you immediately pounce off the wall, twisting in air and landing back on the block facing the opposite direction, (or perhaps landing on a taller block nearby). All of those measurements are approximate because I’ve never actually measured the things. I just know they look and feel tall and far (especially when your mom is chasing you with a rolling pin and yelling "do the dishes!"). Of course you can make the obstacles taller and farther as needed. However, when running from the 5-0 in the real world you don’t have that luxury so you better not suck or you will so get caught and go directly to jail without passing Go and collecting $200.

If you do the above right you look like some sort of fast, ninja-frog.

Or Deathstrike when she nails Cyclops to the wall outside of Magneto’s cell just because she doesn’t like his weird sunglasses.

Butnowires.

There is a similar, urban demonstration of what I’m talking about at :42 seconds on this one guy’s video.

I will tell you that my biceps and quads are sore hoy. Most likely this is due to the springy part where you cling on to the wall and then jump backward back onto the block.

Jumping, I have found, is a very undervalued skill.

I mean that is definitely the kind of thing that will get you a hot boyfriend.

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