People Are in Trouble Now 

It is 6:16 AM, and now I Know something, if only for a moment.

Lately, I have been working even harder. Meetings, lettersÖ working to truly show, professionally speaking, the repertoire Iíve developed. Iíve focused, written, called, followed up and behaved in attempts to get the business, executive and suit-money types to see whatís there, to take me seriously. Iíve been smart and clever and just personable enough to be solicited and referred, but not too personal so as to be professionally slick. Itís not that itís not working a little, or that Iím not great in a room (if I can get in, then all bets are off)Ö

Itís that itís tiring, being so serious and worried all the time. Worrying over how youíre construed in every line of a letter that someone probably wonít read anyway. Especially when you check their client list and see that youíve got more going on and more potential than many of their clients, yet they invest in them over you. Especially when I donít think that demeanor is what makes me a unique talent.

Or a real person.

Or the storyteller who can feel the pulse, the temperature of the audience without even realizing, because it matches that of her own.

Up until now, I have (understandably) been very conscious of what deal-makers in the industry think, and how Iím positioned. I felt this was an important time to be aware of that. You may have sensed that here as I have been treading water.

It feels like being locked in your room.

Now that I donít fucking care anymore, I think that caring a little too much about my demeanor was my last stumbling block in relation to this project.

Now that I donít fucking care anymore, people are in trouble.

Just like they used to be,

Just like I always promised.

Comments (7) | Permanent Link | RSS
© 2003-2017 Jessica Mae Stover • All Rights Reserved • Webmaster: Iain Edminster • Design: Greg Martin