Smell as Sweet 

I do not like the way those weather guys name hurricanes.

Charles.

It is not fitting for so strong a force.

Erin.

Should these storms not have amazing, villainous names according to their personality? Or perhaps names of awe and wonder, like the Gods of myths past?

Katrina. Katrina.

That shit does not fit the thing that is about to put humanity in its place.

I mean, we could still go alphabetically…

The Kataranian, Krippilonia, Kalliptordecris, Count Krillio…

OK, so K is kind of hard.

And I guess this sort of naming convention would strike fear in the hearts of the masses. Of course, fear of the fitting name would prevent the ignorant public from understanding the news and science of the beast. Instead, the name of Betty urges us to learn how to go about dodging something that sounds like the person who grew up next door to our grandma, which is kind of like the opposite of Lord Volde, if you ask me, and still not any good in an opposite-extreme sort of way.

Now that I live on the west coast and don’t watch TV, it took lot longer for news of Count Krillio planned landing to reach me, but it still makes me worry and wonder.

I have stayed in Florida during hurricanes. I have been evacuated from SC because of hurricanes. I have watched and listened to how locals react to a pending storm. Some board-up, but will never leave. Others flee when the eye sets its sights upon them…

Despite these differences in storm philosophy, surely they can all agree that “Greg” is not a suitable name for the bludgeoning of winds that could change their lives forever.

Or take them away.

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