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I have read a load of e-mail lately from writers who have had a recent traffic jump or are tired of their site layout or second guessing themselves for whatever other reason(s):
ďHow do you just keep putting things up? What do people want?!Ē
You are not alone. After my recent induction into the inner circles of webdom, I have learned that this is the number one blogosphere discussion when even some of the best online writers get together.
While doing Jessicaís Crush, I had millions of people watching and reading and not as much control over the product, so I had to get over the judgment factor or else. But actors learn to do that early on: Rejection is the meal between breakfast and lunch that we get served daily.
I brushed against the pressure factor again when I hit a surge in traffic a few months ago, but then I remembered that I canít care about all that, really. Iíll come home tired and distressed and will publish something unedited. Because I need to. Because itís mine.
This place is always changing, never staying, always in the moment:
There exist people who read this site who try to look after me. But I wonít let them. There exist people who read this site in secret. There are so many different sorts of you. There exist people who read this site and have stolen my heart. I e-mail with you. Iíve never met youÖ
That being said, I forget you all.
I donít care for nonsensical rules that tell me I canít. I wonít abide by them. And if you want to ride with me, you wonít either.
And to my Wingmen I say,
You are enough.
When the camera is on you, you are enough. When you are on stage, you are enough. You are already interesting. Just standing there makes you interesting. Now all you have to do is tell your truth.
The collective readership, like any audience, is smarter than we are. Smart enough to see things in context. Smart enough to see what I mean if they would so like. M.Sto raised me to think for myself and I always assume that you are just as capable, if not more so.
I donít look at my traffic, but I do check my referrers and the sites of all of those who post. And I will find out if you call me pitiful.
I may be young, but I do Know:
That if that stops you from saying it,
Then you arenít a writer in the first place.
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