Thereís No Honorable Mention in Baseball 

Lately I have run into a lot of talk about baseball. Baseball, baseball, baseball. I guess itís on everyoneís minds. Or something. Most of the time this annoys me because talk of baseballness brings back a huge chunk of my past identity.

After all, until recently most of my life was dedicated to playing competitive fastpitch softball. Springs, summers and falls were spent on ball fields. Winters? Practicing inside at World of Baseball winter camp. The Grizz & M.Sto spent their weekends and evenings carting C.Sto and I around on our pursuit of state championshipism. (Even worse for them in C.Stoís case because she was a pitcher and The Grizz coached many of her teams.)

Despite other activities, (writing and the arts,) softball owned me. I thought I would play at University until I slowed down long enough to realize that I didnít want to take it that far. That I wanted to focus on my acting and writing. And become a Ninja.

Here in Los Angeles the batting cages are too far away and, yes, none of my friends know how to throw, so yes, I am out of softball shape and memory. But one thing still remains clear in my mind and comes flooding back each time I hear someone recounting whatever play-by-play from some game:

Drop third strike is the stupidest professional baseball/softball rule EVER.

More people should be pissed about this issue and dedicate their lives to eliminating it from game play so that I donít have to deal with getting on base in such a lame way. Itís like getting honorable mention at bat or some other shitty consolation prize. Itís winning because the other team didnít bring it, not because you bested the pitcher at the plate or even put the ball in play, for that matter. Itís like getting a fourth strike. And how pissed is that pitcher when the catcher fucks up that final K?

I mean, letís face it: Drop third is worse than getting walked.

Excluding getting walked on purpose, which is awesome because it means that you are the shit. Unless the pitcher is only loading the bases, in which case getting walked still sucks and you are lame.

I know what you are going to say, youíre going to say, ďBut Jessica, drop third makes the catcher work harder and keeps the game moving blah blah.Ē What this really means is that the only way you can get on base is if the catcher drops the ball after you whiff out. I donít care what anyone who canít hit has to say, so your point is disqualified from this argument.

In conclusion, I know everything about all kinds of stickball so I know what I'm talking about. Drop third strike is wicked retarded. If you want to form a coalition against D3S, then please let me know as I will fully endorse you and make you totally famous via my website.

Otherwise, we will have to wait for C.Sto to become President so that she can outlaw the D3S rule, which was obviously planted by old-skool terrorists in attempts to ruin Americaís favorite pastime.

Comments (10) | Permanent Link | RSS
© 2003-2017 Jessica Mae Stover • All Rights Reserved • Webmaster: Iain Edminster • Design: Greg Martin