Sasquatch 

Jet Blue now has MTV, which made my flight home approximately 43.7% less annoying since it was super early and I was able to watch “Wake-Up Videos.” I love Britney’s video for My Prerogative. I love it. I love it. I know you reproach me because I love it, but I love it. I know it’s a Madonna rip off, but I love it. Love the song. Love the video. LOVE IT.

And, for the record, this past weekend in VA I got stuck going into a gas station barefoot. So, either:
A. I am "white trash" like Britney.
B. It could happen to anyone.
C. George Bush is a woman.
D. Gnomes stole my shoes.
E. Come to a complete stop.
F. There is no “F” in multiple choice, stupid.

You better have picked “B,” foolio. Because, if I’m white trash and I’m smarter than thou, then what does that make thou? Eh? That’s right: It makes you Canadian!
(The above is totally true because it is a disjunctive syllogism.)

Speaking of Canadians, I also noticed that there is a Sasquatch in the new Beastie Boys video. This is pisser because Sasquatch can, like, cook them dinner and, like, play Pong with them and, like, totally swat down anything they throw up at any basketball hoop. This song is also awesome due to the lyric “What the Hell-en of Troy is that!?”

Sasquatch.

Now check me out in The Mummy.

“I'll tell you who it was, it was that damned Sasquatch!”

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