Standard Snob 

Friday night I went to the Downtown Standard. (A tries-too-hard-to-be-modern rooftop lounge above the hotel.) Iím not the biggest fan of downtown L.A. and the crowd could have been better, but I was with friends who always make any location fun so it was worth going to hang out with them.

My comedienne pal, Trish, and I were in the bathroom talking about something. I canít recall the exact subject, but Iím sure it was highly important and intellectual. Perhaps it was womenís rights in the Middle East or child welfare. Or my awesome leg warmers. Anyway, I was weighing both sides of said forgotten issue. Trish's opinion slanted more to one side. We moved into our individual stalls and continued the conversation. Then, Some Woman jumped in and began heatedly arguing the opposite point of view with Trish. I shut-up while they continued to debate as I found the intruding voice to be rather obnoxious.

Their conversation stopped. Tri and I both exited the stalls at the same time and headed over to the sinks to wash our hands and touch up our make-up. At this point I was totally being British, which includes speaking with my spot-on British dialect. (This often occurs when I go out at night and makes me 45.30928390283% more awesome.)

Jessica: I wonder what time it is?
Familiar Voice: (from off-screen) You guys are annoying. Youíre terrible.
Jessica and Trish turn in unison to see Some Woman, the conversation interrupter, standing in the doorway.
Jessica: (to Trish) Did she just call us annoying? Who does that.
Trish: (to Some Woman, noting her accent) Are you French? Are you French and you called us annoying?
Jessica: This is exactly why England is not on the Euro.
Trish: You look like an older, fatter version of Rosie Perez!
Jessica snorts, stifles a laugh.

And with that, OF Rosie rolled her stupid, snobby French eyes and exited. Trish started to follow OF Rosie in order to continue assailing her with her clever quips, but:

Jessica: Wait, Tri--Iím putting on lip-gloss!

I later thought that we should have pushed OF Rosie into the pool, as Iím certain that her OFA could not swim.

Related Photo: Smells like plastic.

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