The Pen 

Petition in favor of gnomes.

Now that I know how easy it is to petition for stuff, I plan to write petitions for anything that pisses me off. Like if the guy at the gas station is rude to me or something or if Starbucks discontinues my favorite cookies. (Which I totally heard is happening, BTW.)

What sort of petition would you write? I think my next one will be: "Petition for Jessica Stover to be Conan O'Brien's sidekick for one night."

That one would definitely work. Definitely.

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