FANdyman 

A Comment:
From Andre
What's the ceiling fan incident?


Once upon a summer night, my girlfriends and I were watching Candyman. Two of us were squished in a chair and I wanted to get some snacks from the kitchen. Since everyone else was stretched out on the floor around the chair, I figured the fastest way to more popcorn was over instead of through. I jumped… and nailed the side of my head on the ceiling fan, which was on high speed. (My friend's ceiling is rather low.) I landed in a cat-like stance and put my hand to my head. I looked at my palm: BLOOD.

Blood was spurting out of my head Kill Bill style. The hair on the right side of my head quickly became matted and I could see a rush of red creeping down the side of my grey t-shirt.

It seemed that I was the only person not in shock. Time slowed. In the background, the movie kept playing and a young girl was repeating the word “Candyman” while looking into her bathroom mirror. The eerie music and flickering light from the TV made the dark living room a thousand times more frightening.

I was the first to speak and did so in my calm, know-it-all voice: “Don’t worry you guys, head wounds bleed more than other wounds. I’m sure the cut is really small.”

My girlfriends continued to stare at me with wide eyes. Some of their mouths had gone slack.

I took charge: “Mandy, you should get your Mom.”


The moral? Always keep a "cool head" in times of bloody crisis.

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