Ding Dong |
Wedding bells are ringing. No, not for me you foolio. What the hell. Too young.
Today is Heather and David's wedding. I just got back from getting my bridesmaid 'do and now I’m leaving to meet up with the bride and company. I'm sure everything will run smoothly.
Update: Wedding = Good. Everyone = Happy. As usual, everything went fine once the show finally started. Plus, there was a lot of champagne.
And, when I drink a lot of champagne:
1. My usage of curse words increases 25%.
2. I unflinchingly argue with a restaurant manager about the validity of a fake ID.
3. There is a 100% chance that I will pick up some sort of catch phrase over the course of the evening and use it avidly. Last night's was: “I don't fuck around!” Which I think meant, “I'm a serious force to be reckoned with!” Or something. Not one of my most original mantras.
4. I forget to try the wedding cake.
5. Everyone listed in my cell phone gets a call. Those who do not pick up will be treated to an awesome voice mail.
6. I command the DJ to play Baby Got Back. Sir Mix-A-Lot is definitely perfect for any wedding reception.
7. The following day I find a random golf ball in my satin clutch.
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