Where Valedictorians Go 

Kid: What do you do?
Me: I'm a director, which is a kind of artist.
Kid: Oh. (beat) Did you get really bad grades in school or something?
Me: Actually, I am quite capable and earned As at University. Tell me, short person, why do you view my vocation with disdain?
Kid: My Dad got straight As, he was the best student in his class! Now he works for the government! Which is a real job!
Dad: (increasingly mortified) ah... haha, kids! Can I have you, uh, autograph this? For my wife?

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